Dear Office of Financial Aid,
Please get my refund to me soon. As in today. As in like yesterday. Please stop avoiding my emails and phone calls. I need my money. The $39 in my bank account is awfully lonely and would like some friends to hang out with.
If you need me, I’ll be doing some cheap activity like crying alone on my floor, or crying while laying in my bed, or not filling up my gas tank or going grocery shopping.