I’d drop out to be a stripper, but then I remember I’m fat and can’t dance.

So, yes. I almost dropped out of law school after my first semester.

1Ls had been required to waste an entire week of winter break by coming back to school and participating in a business module aka sitting in a room, understanding nothing, getting exasperated as shit, then leaving for drinks. The last day of the module, everybody knew that grades were going to be released, so nobody stuck around and rushed right home. I gave one of my friends a ride home, usually an uneventful 15/20 minute ride, but this was right in the middle of rush hour so it had already taken a good 30 minutes and I was nearly halfway home when it happened.

Grades were released.

I logged into my school account while driving. I selected Fall 2013 grades. I waited. I gasped in absolute shock and immediately started crying. B. C-. C. D. The registrar had to be fist fucking me. It had to be a mistake.

I couldn’t go straight home. I couldn’t. I turned around and drove straight to the liquor store for wine. I needed it.
I had many long, emotion filled, drunk (YES I DRUNK DIALED MY MOM WHILE I WAS HAVING THE BREAKDOWN TO END ALL BREAKDOWNS, WHAT’S IT TO YOU.) conversations with my mom. For a person who didn’t even want me to move away, she was so supportive.

You know who was not supportive? The professor who gave me a D. I’m not bitter about it, at this point I’m just stating facts. Thankfully she does not work at my law school anymore.

Anyways! There were two reasons why I didn’t drop out:
1. I’m not a quitter.
2. I had already paid for my second semester.

I went back to school with a renewed sense of vigor. I told myself that I worked extremely hard to be in law school and I couldn’t let one bad (okay three bad) grades get me down. And they didn’t.

I’m going into my last year of law school. I’ve had two great summer jobs, a semester externship, and got into a clinic for the spring. Have I had more breakdowns? Oh, sweet baby jesus, of course I have. Have I gotten more Cs? You can beat your sweet ass I have. Am I letting it stop me? No.

I just reminded myself of a quote that my mom tells me all the time when I complain about law school, “Of course law school is hard. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it.”

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2 thoughts on “I’d drop out to be a stripper, but then I remember I’m fat and can’t dance.

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