So you’re studying for finals…

Here are some tried and true tips:

  1. Outline early. The earlier you condense all of your work, the easier it’ll be to go over at the end of the semester
  2. Put your textbook underneath your pillow when you sleep. Osmosis is a real thing people, don’t let science-deniers fool you!
  3. Skip showering. If you smell, nobody will sit near you during the exam so you can spread out more. Also, depending on how small your room is, you might make everybody sick so they have to leave and you will be at the top of the curve.
  4. Bring healthy snacks to eat during the exam, but make sure they’re healthy. Snacks like heads of celery, whole apples, full-sized carrots, baked chips, and sunflower seeds still in the shells are great ideas.
  5. Ensure you’ve slept the night before. Preferably for two hours, sitting in the Clinic, with your head on your keyboard. It’s all about the power naps, I’m telling you.
  6. Don’t pack dinner. If you bring dinner to school, you’ll stay at school longer. Skip the meal and cry about how hungry you are until you can’t take it and order pizza at 11 PM.
  7. Bring headphones. This way nobody will know that you’ve been listening to Lemonade on repeat and not anything proven effective for studying like white noise, brown noise, or other sounds that can lead to brown notes.
  8. Think about all of your TV shows you get to catch up on. No, I don’t care The Office ended 3 years ago, I haven’t finished yet.
  9. Cry. Loudly. During the exam. Let your tears fall over your closest-sitting companion.
  10. Accept the fact that you are in Hell. Law school was a huge mistake and ask yourself why you did this to yourself. Friends of yours have salaries, and take vacations, and look like human beings. You, right now, wearing the sweatpants that you slept in, with no makeup on, and your hair not brushed, you are not human.
  11. Be proud! After your exams are done, it’s summer break which means a few weeks off until the firm/government/public interest job snatches away your freedom.
Here’s a picture of my friends and I studying together. 

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